You Revive Me

This morning I was worshipping to a song by Christy Nockels "You Revive Me" and these specific lyrics of the chorus hit home:

You are the treasure I could not afford
So I'll spend myself til I'm empty and poor
All for You
You revive me Lord

With all of my busyness and never ending to-do lists, my focus on my shortcomings, and my preoccupation with myself, I needed to be reminded this morning that sitting at His feet, pouring out love on my Savior and getting the focus off myself and onto Him, is exactly what I should do every day.

Repentance, of course, is the first thing that I expressed. I realize when I'm worshipping how much of my life I spend constructing a world independent of my Lord. I repented for even trying to find life outside of Him. He is the "treasure" that I should be seeking. When I empty myself I am ready to be a vessel that can be filled with the riches that are found in Him.

However, when I'm aware of my emptiness, I often fill myself with the wrong things. I get busy. I eat. I watch TV. Instead of seeking Him to fill me, I look for temporary solutions. But if I would quiet myself, I believe He will be found in the stillness. Just as Jesus only did and said what He heard the Father say, I want to live my life by that same example.

As I'm working on my "Year of 39 Bucket List", I have things I want to accomplish, adventures I've shelved for too long. I have a monumental task ahead of me in my professional life, as well. However, instead of feeling empty and unable to achieve all the dreams inside of me, I know that I can be found in Him and be filled with all that I need: energy, resources, time, help, finances, creativity. He is the author and the finisher of my story. I don't know how I can pretend to write it without His daily, moment-by-moment involvement.

Jesus, revive me! I will be found seeking You!

Adoption Story

I started a new book today that my sister Dawn gave me entitled A Passion for the Fatherless. The premise is simply to lay the theological groundwork and practical steps for orphan care. It opened my eyes again to the mission that burns in my heart. The author, Daniel Bennett, says

"For the Christian, understanding orphan care ministry begins by understanding the character of God. God passionately cares for the fatherless and has a unique purpose for our lives that should influence why we are motivated to care for orphans. That purpose is His glory."

I believe this! I believe that when our hearts beat for God's will to be done through us, He will use us as His vessels. He will surpass our expectations and allow us to pour out to others. The God in us is bigger than our own limitations. When we come to the end of our own resources, He is exalted. It is then that we get the privilege of making Him known to the world around us.

Since the memories of our own adoption experience were coming to mind, I visited our blog that I updated throughout the adoption process. I haven't posted a new entry there since 2008, but it was so good to re-read some of the emotions I was processing.

http://mageradoptionstory.blogspot.com/

I am amazed at the destiny doors that we walked through during that time in our lives. From new friends in the adoption community to amazing ministers of compassion both in Ethiopia and through our agency, we had divine connections happening every day. The finances that were needed to start and complete our journey were miraculously provided again and again. The baby boy that God predestined to be in our home was the perfect fit for our family! The faith that grew in our hearts to trust God through each step was a catalyst of spiritual maturity.

As Ashenafi was praying the other day during our morning devotion time, he thanked God "that each of us has a purpose for our life." Tears immediately filled my eyes. At the tender age of six, he already understands that His heavenly Father created him with a unique design and purpose to fulfill. And I pray that as Ash grows older, he will remember that purpose is to bring God glory.

Write Your Story

When I was in college, I had an idea for a dance troupe that I was going to begin. I wanted to call it Tapestry and merge the use of fabrics with modern dance technique to show the beautiful colors that the seasons of life blend together, resulting in a picture with both texture and contrast. But I was young and immature and really thought beauty was in the bright moments, the experiences that I had yet to live.

I found out quickly, though, that sometimes life is cluttered with busyness, chaos, or conflict. Sometimes it is just mundane, same thing day after day. But, other seasons bring a fresh start to us and it feels like a blank page, an opportunity to start something new. After a decade of working through clutter and learning many lessons in the mundane, I feel that I've turned a page in my own story and it's time to intentionally take some forward steps in my destiny walk. And, I'm thankful because I've seen what the chaotic and mundane colors have done to add texture to my life's portrait.

A friend brought this song to my attention, Francesca Battistelli's "Write Your Story". It feels like the words of my heart, the anthem I want for my life:

I'm an empty page; I'm an open book
Write Your story on my heart; Come on and make Your mark

Author of my hope, Maker of the stars
Let me be Your work of art; Won't You write Your story on my heart

I want my history to be Your legacy
Go ahead and show this world what You've done in me
And when the music fades, I want my life to say
I let You write Your story

This is what the ultimate life surrendered in worship looks like to me! It's not what I do that I'll be known for; it's for Whom I do it that will leave the kind of legacy I want. Surrendering my plans, my agenda, and my insecurities to chase after God's plan seems like the only path left before me. And, I'm excited about where this path is going to take me. Not just because I think the destination will be good, but because I'm finally embracing the journey and willing for God to write His story on the pages of my heart. Besides, I'm pretty confident that the tapestry He is weaving is going to tell a beautiful story that glorifies Him.

Breaking Free

In the spirit of keeping my New Year’s resolution I decided to join the #emptyshelf challenge on Pinterest and begin this week to fill up my empty shelf with the books I will read. This morning, instead of getting started on taking down the Christmas tree and doing laundry, I took a few moments to enjoy the quiet while the kids were sleeping in and opened Beth Moore’s Breaking Free. The last paragraph of the preface so captures what my heart’s desire is that I knew God had brought me this book to start the new year:

Come with all haste. Come to the place of breaking free. The place where we know Him and believe Him. The place where we seek His glory and forget our own. The place where satisfaction comes from the only true satisfier of our souls. The place where we experience His peace no matter what the world may throw our way. And the place where His presence is our constant desire and our daily joy.

Yes, this is my prayer. My eyes filled with tears as I read that because it truly is the cry of my heart but I have not made time to find Him and follow Him. However, this year is different. I’m leaving the to-do lists behind and running headlong into the adventure that awaits in my pursuit of the lover of my soul.

It reminds of something I just saw this morning as a feature on the Today show. They were interviewing a photographer, Murad Osmann, about his current work on the Follow Me Project which is going viral on the internet. This project “immortalizes his travels around the world with his girlfriend in a series of photographs always based on the same model: a first person view, driven by a delicate hand to new discoveries”.

It arrested my attention because it captures the impatience of someone who is longing to experience the beautiful sights and sounds of the world and share that beauty with another, grabbing them by the hand and pulling them into the moment. That image arrested me. I’ve missed so many moments because my head was buried in the tasks. But I want to look up, look around me, and take in the beauty of what God has for me. And, more than anything, I want to take others by the hand and pull them into that experience with me.

Plans for the Future

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”


As a teenager I actually believed this. I felt that God had big plans for my future and I dreamed of making an amazing impact in the world around me. I’m sure much of what I envisioned had more to do with me making my mark than it did with me glorifying God. But my intentions seemed honorable to me at the time. I forged ahead on a ministry path and put aside other goals and life ambitions in pursuit of what I believed was going to release great potential.


I still believe that God has plans for me. But somewhere along the path of dreaming my future and actually living the daily nuts and bolts of life, I lost my passions. Adult life became weighted with the mundane tasks of responsibility. One baby became two, then I had four. Babies became toddlers, and the days seemed to blend together in the endless chaos of diapers, messes, nap schedules, and tantrums. I tried to maintain part-time work and part-time church responsibilities and balance those with the demands of mothering, but often felt the weight of failure in both arenas. I wanted to be that amazing person that I had dreamed God wanted me to be, but struggled with the depressing reality that I was just average and not really making much of an impact at all. Finances were difficult and ministry doors kept closing. The stress of life seemed overwhelming.


I’m not saying these things to complain, only to address the process I was in for many years and how I’ve grown since then. Somewhere in the past couple years, my focus has shifted. Instead of viewing life as a destination, I began to embrace the journey (cliche, I know!). Instead of being in pursuit of what God had called me to be, I began to pursue Him. Instead of me needing to make my mark, I began to put others’ needs ahead of mine and truly serve. Many things added together to make this subtle shift. It was not in one divine moment of inspiration that I chose to live differently. It was just the natural process of maturing and growing in my relationship with the Lord.


I still have big dreams. I still want to shift a culture for the glory of the King. However, my focus is in a different place and I feel that it has released the weight of stress from me. Some days are still hard and long, but I don’t have the same expectations that my immaturity thrust upon me. So, my new year’s resolution has less to do with a list of things to accomplish, but rather a simpler approach to living: find my margins, reclaim my passions, and truly release the potential that God has placed within me. Since this is vague in implementation, I have a few things I’m going to do to start: read more; blog and journal to track my progress; spend more time in His presence; invest in others; and, finally, intentionally spend more time in the areas where I am passionate.


I pray that in the next year I can see how God’s plans for me have less to do with me and everything to do with the dreams of His heart.